Tools · · Updated
Creating a Family Mission Statement
A well-defined team knows what it is and what it is not. So can a family.
Greg Murray, Founder, Human Creative Coaching
In short
A family mission statement is a short, easy-to-recall sentence that names your family's values and aspirations, a touchstone for decisions when daily life pulls you off course. Build it together: focus on the people rather than the goals, make time to actually be together, keep it concise, and treat it as a living part of your culture rather than a document.
In this piece
The movements of everyday life can keep you from reflecting on whether your family's actions are actually aligned with your core values and goals. Some days raising kids and growing a family culture feels like ten steps forward, ten steps back, and then four more.
Perhaps you're looking back on your family of origin and thinking, "Wow, that really didn't work," or maybe, "We really crushed it at community." Whether you're in a new relationship, married without kids, or a full house, a mission statement helps you shape your immediate family culture with intention.
Why does a family need one?
A strong, well-defined team knows what it is and what it is not. It moves quickly in response to a changing environment toward the stated goal, even if that goal is stillness. Stephen Covey made the case for bringing that clarity home decades ago,1 and it holds: take the time to craft a clear, easy-to-recall statement that reflects the unique values and aspirations of your family. It becomes the touchstone you regroup around, the compass for decisions and actions.
A well-defined team knows what it is and what it is not.
What did you inherit?
Your parents, their parents, and their parents before them shaped how your growing-up years were experienced. Think about the unspoken rules, walls, fields, and dynamics of your family of origin. What were the rhythms, or the lack of them? Now think about your parents' family culture, and if you knew them, your grandparents'. What were the hard defining features? What were the subtleties that shaped them?
This is your moment to chart a new course or build on what was built for you. Carve out time to consider how intention with your family's mission, purpose, and values today will benefit people who will exist years from now. You're here reading this for a reason. Will you choose to shape your home base for your family and the generations after?
How do you create one?
Let the process be a fun and intentional journey for everyone. Four tips from the coaching room:
- Focus on the human element. A family mission statement is not a to-do list. It is about the people in your family, what makes each one unique, and the flavor of your culture that runs through every decision. Ask: what values and aspirations define each member? How can we include them in a way that feels authentic?
- Make time to be together. To understand each other's values and goals, you need time that brings everyone together: a weekly game night, a monthly outing. Quality time creates the comfort for people to share what they actually think.
- Create a clear, concise vision. A sentence or two that names your core values and goals. Specific enough to guide, flexible enough to allow growth. Identify the key values first; build the statement from them.
- Understand how it shapes your culture. A family mission statement is a living, breathing part of your identity, not a document. Aligning actions and decisions with it is what builds a cohesive culture.
Closing
A family mission statement can take many forms. What matters is that it reflects the unique values and goals of your family. Creating it, and the shared values beneath it, makes room for your relationships to grow stronger and deeper. For the personal version of this process, see the guide to building a personal mission statement.
Questions I hear
What is a family mission statement?
A short, memorable statement of your family's core values and aspirations. It serves as a touchstone for decisions and a shared sense of who you are as a household.
How long should it be?
A sentence or two. Long enough to guide, short enough that everyone can recall it.
How do I get the whole family involved?
Start with time together rather than a meeting about values. Game nights and outings create the comfort for honest sharing. Then ask each person what matters most to them and build from there.
References
- Covey, S. R. (1997). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Golden Books.
This article is written from a coaching perspective and is for general information. It is not psychotherapy, counseling, or medical advice, and it is not a substitute for care from a licensed professional.
Greg Murray · TPRAT certified, TLP Director, TPRAT co-facilitator. Coach to founders, executives, and artists. Writes here about what actually changes a person.
