Essays ·
Owning Your Life: Maintenance and Self-Improvement Strategies
A car costs more than the sticker price. So does a life. Will you own yours, or let it own you?
Greg Murray, Founder, Human Creative Coaching
In short
Owning anything means budgeting for two things beyond the purchase: maintenance and upgrades. A life is no different. "Heroic maintenance" is fixing what is quietly breaking before it fails; self-improvement is the proactive investment in skills, guidance, and care that compounds. Budget time and money for both, and your actions start shaping your life instead of the other way round.
In this piece
Watch the video: Will you own your life or let your life own you?
When you finally buy your first car or become a homeowner, the expenses don't stop at the purchase. You budget for the washing machine, new tires, insurance, the shop (hopefully not too often). You may also want to invest in upgrades: new flooring, a bigger kitchen, a patio. These investments maintain and improve the value of what you own.
Will you own your life, or let your life own you?
What does it cost to own your life?
Have you considered what it takes to both maintain and enhance your well-being? Are you setting aside the time, energy, and resources to:
- Fix what's breaking. I call this heroic maintenance, a phrase a good friend used that stuck with me. It means addressing the issues we take for granted or put off, the ones that become bigger problems if left too long.
- Invest in self-improvement. Proactive steps to become better: upskilling, professional guidance, real self-care. The growth of the business, the trajectory of the family, the health of your life often come back to your health. I have personally seen a multiplying return on this investment.
What is heroic maintenance?
Skip your car's oil changes and the engine eventually seizes. Maintenance can be a headache; my car has been in the shop all year with random issues, water leaking in, the fuel system going out. But if I never took it in, I doubt it would run at all. Ignoring your mental and emotional health works the same way.
The evidence is clear that psychological care works. Cognitive behavioral therapy has one of the strongest evidence bases in all of psychology,2 and preventive psychological interventions measurably reduce the onset of depression before it becomes a crisis.1 Regular care is routine maintenance that keeps your life running.
Access is a real barrier. Many therapists and counselors offer sliding-scale rates based on income; it is worth asking.
Fix what's breaking before it fails. Invest in what could grow.
Why invest in self-improvement?
Investing in yourself is not a luxury. Continuous learning and skill development support brain plasticity, keeping the mind sharp and adaptable,4 and build the cognitive reserve that delays decline later in life.5 Classes, new hobbies, working with a coach: each one pays into your cognitive health and emotional resilience.
How do you start owning your life?
- Budget for maintenance. Allocate time and money for regular check-ins with a therapist or counselor. Managing stress proactively prevents burnout.
- Upskill. Take a new class each quarter, professional or personal. Continuous learning keeps your brain engaged and growing.
- Seek guidance. Hire a coach or professional in the area you want to develop. Outside perspective and accountability keep you on track.
What do you get back?
Better mental health. Regular care reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression.2 Sharper thinking. Continuous learning builds cognitive reserve.5 More satisfaction. Intentional activity, the things you choose to do, is one of the few levers that reliably raises lasting well-being.3
Closing
Owning your life means budgeting for both maintenance and improvement. The choice is clear: own your life, invest in your well-being, and unlock your potential. Don't let life own you. Take the wheel.
Whatever your circumstances, your actions have the power to shape your life. Commit to the heroic maintenance of fixing what's breaking, bring friends and help along, and invest in growth. Let's grow together by valuing our well-being and continuous improvement.
Questions I hear
What is "heroic maintenance"?
Deliberately fixing the things you have been tolerating or putting off before they fail: the strained relationship, the unaddressed stress, the habit that is costing you. Ordinary maintenance done on purpose.
Is therapy or coaching only for a crisis?
No. Preventive psychological care reduces the chance of a crisis in the first place, the same way routine service keeps a car out of the shop.
What if I can't afford regular care?
Ask about sliding-scale rates; many therapists and counselors adjust fees to income. Learning and skill-building are also investments, and many are low-cost.
References
- Cuijpers, P., van Straten, A., Smit, F., Mihalopoulos, C., & Beekman, A. (2008). Preventing the onset of depressive disorders: A meta-analytic review of psychological interventions. American Journal of Psychiatry, 165(10), 1272–1280. DOI
- Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440. DOI
- Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111–131. DOI
- Park, D. C., & Bischof, G. N. (2013). The aging mind: Neuroplasticity in response to cognitive training. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 15(1), 109–119. DOI
- Stern, Y. (2012). Cognitive reserve in ageing and Alzheimer's disease. The Lancet Neurology, 11(11), 1006–1012. DOI
This article is written from a coaching perspective and is for general information. It is not psychotherapy, counseling, or medical advice, and it is not a substitute for care from a licensed professional.
Greg Murray · TPRAT certified, TLP Director, TPRAT co-facilitator. Coach to founders, executives, and artists. Writes here about what actually changes a person.
