Why is confrontation so hard? Why do you keep putting off hard conversations? You can see how your life, your business, and your relationships may benefit from the confrontation, but you feel the disruption it will cause in your life will be too much.
Or maybe the pain is so deep you don’t have the strength to step into the proverbial ‘ring’ again. Whatever the challenges may be, you can gain traction in your life by getting clarity on the specific obstacles you face and how to navigate them.
Let’s dive in! There are generally three main obstacles humans experience around confrontation. While reading, think through which obstacles you relate to in your circumstances the most:
Obstacle 1: Fear of Loss of Relationship
Confrontation can be especially difficult when it comes to close relationships. You may fear that the truth will damage a friendship, business partnership, or a family dynamic. Yet if the truth cannot be discussed, is this person really your friend, or does this relationship actually have value to you?
By avoiding confrontation, you may actually be doing more harm than good to the relationship in the long run. Try to approach the conversation with empathy and a desire to understand the other person's perspective. Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust and honesty. By addressing issues and working through them together, you can strengthen your relationships and build deeper connections with those around you.
Obstacle 2: Fear of Wrath
Confrontation could make someone you care about angry at you, cause you to lose a business partnership or a job, shift more responsibilities onto your plate, or a plethora of other types of harm.
Recognize your fear response: Fight, flight, freeze, or fold? We’ll take a deep dive into resources on fear in the future but for now identifying your response will help provide awareness for a healthy way through those fears.
Obstacle 3: Guilt
The thoughts that keeps on giving. Guilt says "I’m concerned that I did or am going to damage you with this confrontation”. When you take on too much responsibility for a person and their well being, you step into the territory where you “fragilize” people - Yes, “fragilize” isn’t a real word but hang with me and we'll break it down together.
When you “fragilize” people you are saying these people are damaged and cannot handle this confrontation that would bring greater health to our relationship. In this way I would suggest that you are not respecting their resilience.
“Fragilizing” someone and avoiding the hard conversations is actually an expression of your own fragile nature - that you're too fragile to handle their pain, anger, or discomfort from this confrontation. There’s no need for you to walk on egg shells any longer - I’ve been there and believe me it’s not worth the loss of energy.
Take a moment, and ask yourself which of these three do I struggle with the most and why?
Confrontation: Worth the Pain of the Process
While confrontation can be difficult, avoiding confrontation has a far greater cost. By confronting issues head-on, you can gain clarity and move forward in a healthier way. Although facing someone or something may be uncomfortable, it's important to remember that the pain of the process is often worth it in the end. You will feel much more empowered and in control of your life when you're able to confront challenging situations.
And who doesn't want to experience an abundance of peace in your life and circumstances?
Doing Life in Community: Finding Strength in Community
The support of others can be an incredible support system when facing the most difficult of confrontations. Finding a mentor or opening up to trusted friends or colleagues provides a fresh perspective and offer encouragement. Don't underestimate the strength that comes from a life of community. When we surround ourselves with others who uplift us and challenge us to grow, we're better equipped to face challenges head-on. So don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it!
SPEAKING OF SUPPORT (😄) we hope to have shed some light on personal obstacles and hope for better future through these obstacles. We truly believe in you and that the health on the other side of those confrontation conversations is more than worth the pain of the process.
Finally, we want to encourage you to do life in community. Find a mentor, open up with friends, or have a personal conversation with a trusted colleague. There is much to be said for the strength garnered from a life of community. Some confrontations in our life will require outside perspectives and encouragement for the best outcomes possible.
We at Human Creative Coaching believe these moments can be helpful and powerful moment for your day/week! If you found this blog post helpful, consider joining the movement by subscribing, or supporting! Our growth as Human Creative Coaching helps us help more humans!
Check out our additional blogs here or read more from our posts on Confrontation:
Human Creative Coaching, A Life Coaching Practice and Mental Health Movement