How Do I Confront My Family While Growing in Relationship? Today we're focusing specifically on your home base of family and how confrontation can create closer and healthier family relationships. Whether you're single, married, or in a romantic relationship this post will provide a framework that will help you navigate confrontation in a constructive way.
In order to grow in relationship with our family well and maintain unity with one another, confrontation will happen. Conflict is natural as we grow and change together over time. This growth is good, something we celebrate, and hopefully is part of your entire life! The challenge is to see the conflict as a growth opportunity. A moment were two people or more turning to face each other fully. When both parties see each other truly, a greater depth of relationship and trust becomes possible.
In addition to maintaining trust - clarity, gentleness, love, and intention are some of the most important factors of confronting family and growing in a relationship. Let’s talk about some of the tools and how they benefit our relationships with family!
5 ways to grow in relationship with family through confrontation:
1. Clarity is Key
If you don’t say exactly what you’re feeling or needing, they won’t know how to help and you’ll be setting yourself up for another confrontation. Be clear and concise to help others understand the issue and why it bothers you.
2. Lead with Love
Confrontation done well is an act of love. It won’t always feel great at first, but getting to the other side of conflict will bring you to a new level of joy and security in your relationship. We should love one another so much that we simply can’t let an issue go unresolved.
3. Approach with Gentleness
This can reinforce trust between you both, as you learn to share without making the other person an enemy. If the other person feels attacked by what you share, they may get defensive and shut down. Use phrases like “When you do ____ , it makes me feel ____”. Or “It is really important to me that you know ____”. Try your best to share what is bothering you without criticizing or attacking the other person.
4. Suggest Resolutions
You’ll want to collaborate on a resolution together, and it can be helpful to know exactly what kind of response you are asking for. This way they know what you’re looking for, and they can decide if they can or are willing to work towards the desired outcome. Think of 3 different ways this conflict can be resolved and suggest them to your family member.
5. Be Intentional
Giving them time to think is a great way to show you care and respect them. Planning to talk or spend time together later is like sending an open invitation to grow in your relationship and an eagerness to get over this obstacle together. Set a time to come back to this discussion or make plans to do something fun together next.
As change and growth happens, it may affect some family members more deeply than we realize. Change and growth creates movement that stirs the status quo. Imagine you're a wind chime and your growth creates movement out of your assumed role. Suddenly, you're bumping into other family members!
When disagreements and confrontation arise, remember the person is not the problem, the problem is the problem! Do your best to describe the specific problem when confronting a loved one. A helpful process is to visualize the problem as a glass or object on a table being discussed with the other person or group.
Separating the issue from the person helps us to discuss the problem without tying it to someone’s identity. If we are to approach confrontation by accusing or attacking the other person, you could potentially break their trust and most likely won't truly be heard through their barriers. Trust is one of the most foundational aspects of a relationship, do your best to maintain it while opening up a conflict.
Confrontation can make your relationships stronger and deeper. We are excited for you and your journey and hope this perspective changes the way you look at conflict. So be bold, have the deep conversations, and leads to healthier relationships for you and your family!
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Check out our additional blogs here or read more from our posts on Confrontation:
Human Creative Coaching, A Life Coaching Practice and Mental Health Movement
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