Your life is multidimensional and your boundaries should be as well. Without getting clear on your boundaries, most likely you'll experience violations of boundaries both known and unknown. Clarity on boundaries then is safety. Clarity on boundaries is health. Clarity on boundaries is kindness...not something to feel guilty about.
Our hope is that concise content provides time to ponder how and where these boundaries are in your life. There are additional dimensions to what is listed here but these are a few great categories to get you started!
1. Emotional Boundaries
Your emotional health is vital and the benefits of protecting our emotional health is experienced not only by yourself but also by your friends and family. Emotional boundaries may look like:
Saying “no” to something that is against your principles
Reserving the right to change your mind
Finding your identity outside of a relationship
2. Material Boundaries
Money and possessions! Being responsible in this category can feel mean at first but keeps yourself and your friends accountable. Ultimately this creates strength in your community. When thinking about your material boundaries, ask yourself:
How am I following up with people that have damaged what I own?
Am I comfortable asking people who owe me money to pay what they owe?
Would I lend a stranger I just met my car (or other possession) vs. my family member?
3. Time/Energy Boundaries
Do you find giving 5 dollars to someone difficult and also easily agree to meetings or projects you never wanted? Remember, your time is valuable and unfortunately you’ll never see this moment again.
Getting clear about your priorities and values aligns what you say yes and no to.
Perhaps a service you’ve been providing for friends can continue but an agreeable fee needs to be discussed?
Exiting conversations when needed - You don’t have to stay in conversations forever. It’s okay to bookmark even deep conversations and continue them at a later time.
4. Intellectual Boundaries
Your thoughts, ideas, and creativity are your own and do not need to change or be given away freely. It’s okay if someone disagrees with you. Difference of opinion or thoughts can even lead to a fun conversation if approached with curiosity!
Respecting difference of opinion
The right to the privacy of your thoughts
Requesting a conversation take place in a more appropriate setting
5. Physical Boundaries
A basketball court has clear limits, and without these boundaries, there would be no court (JUST IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT THE NBA 😱)! Your personal space should have these boundaries as well. Physical boundaries can include:
Expressing you need space to rest, eat, or hydrate
Letting people know you’re not a hugger and/or don’t want to be touched
Communicating what areas of your house are off-limits
Check out our additional blogs here or read more from our posts on Boundaries:
Human Creative Coaching, A Life Coaching Practice and Mental Health Movement