Why are boundaries important and how do we create them?
Setting boundaries can be hard or may even seem unkind. We want to encourage you, healthy boundaries are a positive thing for both you and your community!
I’m currently sitting in a beautiful public garden in Santa Barbara, California. There are fruits, flowers, and herbs for a local restaurant all around. This garden provides fresh ingredients for both the restaurant and guests that get to experience what the delightful food the restaurant creates. Imagine however, if there were no fences to keep out people or animals, this life-giving space likely couldn’t exist and flourish.
Consider that our internal life is fairly parallel. When protected properly, it is something pleasant for our friends and co-workers to experience. Perhaps their interaction with you even had a net-positive affect! Even more so, proper protection provides space for your personal life to flourish and allows room for you to experience the rewards of the hard work you've put in.
You may find yourself easily forgetting where you begin and were you end around friends, family, or your boss. What I mean is you can easily to fall back into assuming old family, friendship, and work roles.
A wise friend in his late 50s once told me when he would go home for the holidays, he often felt like he was 15 years old again. His teenage self felt unable to communicate what he deeply desired to a father that was intimidating, easily angered, and had been verbally abusive (who knows what my friend’s father had gone through growing up).
While setting clear boundaries may feel mean or give you a sense of guilt, we want to encourage you! Healthy boundaries are just as much caring for the other person as caring for yourself.
These boundaries keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices and returns the ownership of your life back to you. At the same time the boundaries release you from the responsibility of managing the other's emotions and life responsibilities. These boundaries have the other's best interest in mind and provides an opportunity for their growth and be personably responsibility.
Maintaining the personal health boundaries provide is so much better than letting those around you hop your proverbial fence anytime they choose.
Benefits of Boundaries:
No need to manage other people’s emotions
Your private issues aren’t shared publicly
Greater Relational Health
Tips to Get Started with Boundaries:
Take a breath and assess the room - self awareness is everything
Know your values.
Listen to your emotions.
Avoid triggering conversations or topics
Consider the long-term benefits
We hope the garden of your internal life to flourishes further from this post. If this is something that has been impactful for you, we want to know! Message us on instagram (@humancreativecoaching) or click the link for a free intro call with one of our professional and trusted Life Coaches!
Human Creative Coaching, A Life Coaching Practice and Mental Health Movement
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