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When Love Gets Hard

Updated: Nov 2, 2022

People are complex, relationships can be messy, and surely not everyone is going to agree all the time. So how do we love people even when loving them gets hard? And why should we even try? The short answer is grace and the reason is peace.


Have you ever met someone, but just kind of clashed with their personality? Or maybe you’ve liked someone, but secretly wished you could change a couple things about them? Perhaps you even have a family member or a friend that you want to love, but some things they do make it really difficult. Or someone you love doesn’t agree with something you’re passionate about. This is all so normal and so common.





As mentioned, we are complex individuals. When we encounter these types of relationships, we need to remember to have grace for others. This means trying to understand what they might be experiencing (or even understanding the lack of knowledge they may have) and showing them love even if you feel they don’t deserve it. Because the truth is, we all deserve love. And if we don’t love one another, we will live our lives in conflict, unable to find true peace.


Living in conflict feels like constantly wanting people and circumstances to go the way you want them to go, and getting upset if they don’t. And let me tell you, that is exhausting! Living in peace is accepting you can’t control everything and everyone and being okay with it anyway. This frees you up to feel and experience life to the fullest! Loving people when it’s difficult will ultimately bring you to a new level of freedom in your life.


Things to Remember When Love Gets Hard:

  • We all want and need love most of all. Many times the root of an issue may be related to how we perceive or experience love.

  • We are all learning. Everyone’s story is full of different experiences and understandings of love. We are constantly learning how to love ourselves and others better.

  • If you can’t control it, don’t try to. Embrace it. Save yourself the unnecessary stress and try to make the most out of your situation.

  • Share your feelings. If you have a relationship built with this person, share how you feel and ask what they need. It can be problematic when we need something, but don’t know how to say it. Communication is vital to healthy relationships.

  • Create boundaries. Find ways to protect yourself if your situation becomes unhealthy or unsafe. Create boundaries to give yourself the space you need.

  • Be patient and persistent. Love always wins. Even the hardest hearts are softened by relentless true love.

The next time you find yourself frustrated with someone or something, remember that being in conflict with others will only bring you stress and anxiety. Instead, choose to find peace in your situation. Create space and set the boundaries you need with that person. Remember to look at them with grace and understanding. Everyone is just trying their best and maybe they haven’t learned what you’ve learned yet.


When love gets difficult, see it as a challenge and opportunity for your own personal growth. My hope for you is that whenever you encounter difficult relationships, that you would see through grace, strive for understanding, and most importantly that you find peace.


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